I have to tell you the truth, a while back I Thought 235 was a bit out of reach. At 262 in mid September I wasn’t even thinking how was I going to lose weight, I sort of stumbled upon it by getting sick and then after 10 days or so of barely feeling like eating I awoke to tip the scales at 248. I honestly thought the scale was broke, so I used Mary’s more calculating scale. It actually may have said 247. I had never had success at diminishing my weight so I never thought to much about trying to hard. Sure there were times in my past when I carried a more manageable weight but that was when I was in prison and played sports every day, sometimes, all day. I started putting on the weight when I got out and those exercises in sports dwindled down to less and less.
Over the weekend I found myself asking “what am I doing this for anyway?” Zoe did not like losing her Santa. It was never about losing weight for the sake of losing weight or even good health. It was about stubbornness. You think I can’t do this, watch this. People a plenty will give you their answers about “doing it for your grandchildren, don’t you want to see them graduate from college?” You mean live another 10 years? Hold on to your seat belts folks if you think I want to live another 10 years. No, I don’t. I see enough people who I hear have dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc. etc. No thank you. Nor do I want to live past my wife. She can live functionally without me. I cannot do so without her.
I even cheated a few times over the Christmas holidays not as a caving in, I have a lot more confidence in my determination a lot so more than I do desperation. I can turn it on and off, this willingness to fight for what I call my goal. When 235, rang out loud and clear this morning, a day after consuming half a quart of Egg Nog (Man, I love that stuff) I was surprised that I wasn’t more elated, wasn’t excited, wasn’t ready to wake Mary up at 5:00 am and tell her the GOOD NEWS. I took it in stride, 1) I am not done yet, 2) not on my terms. People have put words together to make them sound like they are concerned that I might be losing weight TO FAST. 2 to 4 lbs a month they say, your going to gain it all back because of this reason, etc. Do they think I am not studying this stuff along with losing this stuff. I could easily teach an Orientation Class on losing weight and know what I am talking about. Remember, its stubbornness that goads me on, not the method. That’s all Folks, for this time anyway. My new year, as they call it, starts today.
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