You Can’t Go Back…

The saying, if it was C. S. Lewis, shows a deeper intent then what I mean’t to emphasize this morning. (5 AM) But it serves the same purpose. I was following two tracks actually. I scrolled down Memory Lane on Facebook, “You know You’re from Hazel Crest” and saw a few obits of people I had known growing up there as a teenager that I had not known died in the last 3 months of 2019. That kind of scrolling brings back more memories sometimes than you want to deal with in the wee hours of the morning.

The going back, I was thinking about had more to do with eating and the fact that I went to our apartment’s Pot Luck Meal on Monday. As some of you know, since mid September, I have cut out sugar, and bread and limited my meal intake to 2 a day in a modified sample of intermittent fasting. I lost 25 lbs. I had not been going to the pot luck’s because the choices of foods wouldn’t be in my category of selection but last night for a change I went. And I cheated myself. I’m not going to beat myself up over it and in actuality it may serve as a lesson for the future. People kept referring to the description of one who is on a low carb diet. I know what a carburetor in a car is but I do not know what a carb is nor do I want too. Canceling sugar and bread and 2 meals a day is what I did to lose the weight and I will be exacting that same practice as we continue. The pot lucks however, may be a thing of the past.

To the platitude at the beginning of this article, I have been working on changing the ending for the past 42 years. January 13th will recognize the date I Left Prison Behind in 1978. The ending seems more in sight now that I’ve scrolled down memory lane and seen so many who have gone before me. I feel the best I have felt in many a years what with the weight loss, but what is not visible is the pain I carry chronically owing to arthritis. I can tolerate the pain but its the fact that I know the inflammation it represents is taking its’ toll. I can’t say I experience the symptoms of Diabetes 2 and COPD because of the other maladies involved but I have those too. It’s like having several memberships in a League of Medical Journal patients with debilitating conditions. To become a member you actually have to have the condition before you will be accepted in to the club.

But Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina, When the prison school teacher told me God could change my life I had no idea what she meant nor understood what that change would entail or result in. That He did change my life is unquestionable, you didn’t know me. Not even Mary knew the man she was talking those words too. It was the God-changed man she married, not the one who stood before her on that day in May in 1972. I could have done better, but even there the saying talks about the ending, you don’t get a do-over. Each day is a new day for a better ending. The End.

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